Her Pleasure Warrior_A Military Romance Read online

  Sometimes I hated the fact that I was a doctor. I would have much rather just lived in the blissful ignorance that most of my fellow comrades had when returning from active duty. At least they could believe the lies they told themselves. I, however, knew that my inability to adds had nothing to do with time change or readjustment buffers and everything to do with what I had seen over there.

  I realized I hadn’t moved in some time when I stood, muscles stiff, and shut off the alarm. I turned and smoothed the wrinkles my body had made on the bed before silently walking out of my bedroom.

  The townhouse was small and barely furnished. It reminded me more of the container barracks I lived in for the majority of the last six years. It made it feel like home. I walked silently down the darkened hall and to the small kitchen. I didn’t need lights on to know where I was going. A quick and efficient breakfast left me sitting on the lone chair in my living room while I waited for time to pass again.

  Time was now my enemy. I never seemed to have enough things to fill it. When I kept busy, I was okay, but with significant gaps of empty time like this, all I had left to do was think on my past. Most of the time it was in longing for the Navy Seal brothers I had made. Wondering what they were doing now. But in rare instances, it was reliving memories I would much rather forget.

  Sure I had been retired for medical reasons, but it still made me feel like a pussy. I was here living the soft civilian life while my brothers were still out there putting their lives on the line. I rubbed my thigh where the shrapnel had ripped through my flesh and did my best to ignore the constant ringing always at the back of my eardrums.

  Finally, I figured I waited long enough and headed out the door to my first day at my new job. I allowed the medical retirement from my SEAL team for two reasons. One, I wasn't at all sure if fighting it would have even made a difference in the end. Two, because my father was begging me to come and take over his practice so that he could retire himself.

  Today marked day one of our six-month transition into his retirement. He deserved it; I would give him that. I had always planned to take over the business one day, anyway. Joining the Navy was just a way to put my skills to some good use before having to settle down to this quiet town.

  I had never expected to love the military so much. If I had it my way, I would have stayed in until the day I died. Of course, life expectancy as a SEAL was short lived. I didn’t care much about that. I was making a difference where it mattered.

  Now I would be handing out cold medicine for runny noses and painkillers to people who couldn’t hack simple aches. It was drudgery going back to the life I had always planned to have after experiencing something far superior.

  I walked through the small office doors listening to the little chime of bells that automatically sounded. It was like blasting back into my childhood. I hadn’t entered the offices since coming back from overseas, and I was not surprised to see it exactly how I remembered it.

  “Good morning, Hawk,” Mrs. Jennings said from the receptionist counter.

  I gave her a weak smile in return. Mrs. Jennings had been just as much of a fixture to this office as the worn out chair and dated magazines. I reached into her candy bowl and pulled out a jolly rancher.

  When my mother lost her battle with breast cancer, Mrs. Jennings had stepped up to take her place. Every day from the time I was nine, I came here after school and sat in this old waiting area with her to do my homework while Dad saw to his patients.

  “A little early for sweets,” Mrs. Jennings said in a motherly fashion with her darken brow raised.

  I gave her that innocent boy smile she never could say no to.

  “Come on Mrs. J, just trying to cut my nerves a little.”

  “What nerves, boy?” She asked in her normal southern sassy tone. “You have been practically raised in this office.”

  “I guess just the fact of coming back to real life,” I said softly.

  I didn’t share my concerns or struggles with many. Mrs. Jennings made that short list.

  “Honey,” she said reaching out and taking my hand. I loved the feel of her motherly touch. She may have been as dark skinned as I was light, but she was a mother to me through and through. “you are gonna to be just fine. Just keep breathing, and it will all come back to you.”

  I gave her a soft smile and kissed the back of her hand. She giggled at my debonair action and waved me off.

  “Go on now, you tease. Your father is already waiting for you in the back room.”

  I gave her one last wink before slipping the hard candy into my mouth. I liked to have something to concentrate on, to take my mind off the ringing.

  Sure enough, there was my father back in his office stacked high with files. He was the worst when it came to organization. It made me cringe a little. Step one would be computerizing everything and lighting every single one of these stacks on fire.

  “Oh there you are,” he said not looking up from his work.

  I noticed that his hand shook a little as he wrote. It was a hereditary tremor he was born with, but it had gotten significantly worse as he aged. Between that and the fact that I was beginning to see early signs of dementia, it was time for him to take a break from work.

  “Mrs. Prescott is already here,” he said handing me over the file. “I thought she would be a nice first patient for you.”

  I opened the folder and skipped through the content. I knew the name well. She was my first-grade teacher in fact. In this small town, I didn’t think there were very many people I didn’t know.

  Aside from the usual people in town we also got the occasional college student from the state university twenty minutes away. I smiled to myself a bit as I thought about that. After six years in the navy, I had more experience with drunken kids than old ladies struggling with arthritis.

  Father and I didn’t really speak much. It wasn’t something new, its how it always was between us. Mom was the one which I opened up to, and then Mrs. J after her. So with the file in hand, I merely nodded and left the room.

  "Good morning Mrs. Prescott. How are you doing today?” I said as I entered room number one.

  “Hawk? Is that you? Your father told me you were back in town. Look at you all grown up,” she said with surprise in her gentle brown eyes.

  “Yep, just got back about a month ago,” I said sitting down to take her blood pressure.

  “And you are taking over your father’s practice now?” She asked conversationally.

  “Yeah, figured the old man could use a break,” I said as I got out my stethoscope and listened to her heart.

  “That’s a good boy. I always knew you were going to make something of yourself. Look at you now all grown up and a doctor.”

  “What gave it away? The way I ate my glue in the first grade?” I said full of sarcasm.

  “No you generally did that about the same way as all the other kids,” she retorted with more smile wrinkles on her face then I remember. “It was the way you were always willing to help others. You had such a caring heart.”

  I gave a lop-sided smile at her words.

  The day continued on much as the first appointment. A lot of people with minimal issues, as I expected, and all wanting to take a trip down memory lane with me. It was busy at least, being a Friday, and I was thankful for that.

  By midmorning I was really getting into my groove of things, and it was looking hopeful that I could at least make my work life function smoothly. Working hard and efficiently was something I was trained well to do.

  Dad and I for the most part just rotated every other patient that came into the office. It was a nice rhythm and seeing him at work gave me confidence that he wasn’t as deteriorated as I worried he was.

  “Hawk,” he said handing me over a file, “you take this one. I am going to take lunch now.”

  I looked down at the file. It was a little girl named Emma Jones. I scanned over it quickly. She wasn’t more than five, and it looked like she had been seen here
her whole life. Dad was even the one to deliver her.

  I couldn’t help but get a ping at the last name. It brought back a flood of memories of a life I had before the SEALs. It was a common enough name, however, and the likelihood of it meaning anything was minimal.

  I walked through the door to greet the new patient, and my heart hit the floor. Sitting on the papered table was a little girl and standing next to her with her back to me was a woman I never imagined seeing again. She didn’t have to turn; I knew in an instant who she was.

  Chapter Two

  I heard a throat clear, and I turned around to greet Dr. Smith. I froze in that instant. I couldn’t believe who I saw standing before me. In an instant, I was gripped with fear.

  “Hawk?” I stammered out.

  He had changed quite a bit since I last saw him, but in a lot of ways, he was still the same. His black hair was longer now, and he sported a close-cut beard. As I looked up and down the white-coated body, I noticed though it was the same frame it was also much more defined with muscles almost bursting to get out of the confines of his clothes. His penetrating green eyes were still the same however though now set in skin bronzed by time in the sun.

  I shook my head remember where I was and who I was with.

  “I didn’t know you were back.”

  “Well, I am,” he said taking a seat on the doctor's stool and wheeling up to Emma.

  I immediately stood between him and her.

  “We came to see Dr. Smith.”

  “Well I am Dr. Smith,” he said looking up at me as I blocked his way.

  “You know I mean your father. I would rather see him if you don't mind.”

  “Well,” he said a little taken aback by my refusal to let him near my daughter. “The elder Dr. Smith is out for lunch. We are booked solid all day, so it’s me or waiting till Monday. I can assure you I am well trained in,” he looked down at the notes in the file, “sore throats and coughs.”

  I hesitated a moment. It was dangerous enough that Hawk had Emma's file in his hand. What if he found out. I kicked myself for making this stupid risk.

  “She has a pretty high fever too,” I said and watched him jot that down in the notes.

  When Hawk left six years ago without so much as a word I saw nothing wrong with settling down in this sleepy little town I had grown to love. I knew it would be the perfect place to raise my daughter after I finished college at the local state campus just a short drive away.

  Sure this wasn’t the life I had dreamt for myself when I had first entered my higher education. I had always wanted to take my swimming talents to more, maybe even the Olympics. But that had all changed when I found out I had a little life inside me.

  I didn’t regret my decision to have Emma nor to raise her. Yes, it had meant giving up any swimming career dreams, but she was worth all of it. Now I worked at the local high school teaching P.E. and coaching the swim teams. Maybe it wasn’t as fantastical as I had initially dreamed of myself but I was happy, and Emma was too. That was all that I cared about now.

  Things were going right for the two of us. I couldn’t help but wonder how that was going to change if Hawk was back in town.

  “Are you just here for a little while?” I asked trying to sound as nonchalant as I could.

  “Back for good," he said giving me a weak smile.

  “And you are going to be working here in this office? Like all the time?”

  “That is the plan,” he said raising a questioning dark brow at me. “Is that going to be a problem?” He asked still waiting for me to move out of his way.

  “It’s just. We really like Dr. Smith. Emma can be pretty particular and shy.”

  “Well, Dad will still be here for the next few months, but eventually he plans to retire.”

  I slumped my shoulders in disappointment.

  “If you don’t feel comfortable with this,” he said motioning between the two of us, “I can recommend some pediatricians not too far away. I don’t think anyone will be able to see you today, however.”

  I weighed this over in my head. I was going to need to switch doctors, maybe even move away. I couldn’t risk Hawk finding out. It made me a little angry. Why should Emma and I haul our asses out of town to run from him? He was the one that up and left, and now I had to uproot our lives just for the sake of him.

  “I just didn’t know if you planned to up and disappear again, you know, since your so good at it,” I said narrowing my eyes at him.

  “Jules,” he said with a heavy sigh.

  “No,” I said putting my hand up to interrupt him. “I don’t want to hear it. Just check over Emma and leave.”

  I stepped aside and finally gave him access to Emma praying with all my heart he didn’t connect the dots in the few seconds he was about to interact with her.

  Chapter Three

  My heart hit the ground at Julie's harsh words. I didn’t blame her though. I did deserve it. I had just up and left without so much as a goodbye. What she didn’t know is that it was the only way I could have left her. There was no way I was going to be able to face her and still leave.

  I had to go. I had to make something of myself. More than anything, I had to get out of this little town that knew everything about everyone. I wanted to see the world and experience life before I was chained down.

  I was sorry she was a casualty of that dream. Honestly, once I had left and really got to experience life I never planned on coming back. Even now coming back I had never dreamed in a million years that Julie Jones would still be here.

  I steeled my guilt on the fact that at least she had found happiness for herself. The little girl on the papered table was proof of that.

  I couldn’t help but get a quick glance at her left hand. No ring. That didn’t mean anything though. Most people didn’t get married these days. She caught my glimpse and moved her hand out of view.

  I made my way over to Emma and began the examination all the while acutely aware of Julie's closeness to me.

  “Alright Miss Emma, I’m going to use this little arm ban to take your blood pressure. It's going to squeeze like a big bear hug.”

  “Okay,” the little girl said putting out her arm.

  She didn’t seem that shy and timid to me.

  “You want to tell me where you hurt?”

  “I told you,” Julie said a little irritated, “she has a sore throat cough and a fever.”

  “I'm just going to listen to your heart and your lungs now,” I said putting in my stethoscope.

  I had to admit I hated this part of exams the most. The plugging of my ears usually just make the constant ringing that much louder, but I ignored it as I worked.

  “You have beautiful eyes just like your Mama,” I said as I shined the light into each one of her honey brown eyes.

  The little girl blushed. I couldn’t help but look over the rest of her and sense a familiarity. She had lush black hair that still had a bit of a baby curl to it. I assumed she got that from her father since Julie's hair was a vibrant red auburn color. Other than her hair, however, she had the generic look of a cherubic five-year-old.

  “You started school yet?” I asked as I felt her tonsils.

  I could tell they were swollen and her throat did look a bit inflamed.

  “Yes,” she said. “I’m in Mrs. Gardner's class.”

  “Mrs. Gardner, you say. She was my kindergarten teacher too,” I replied. “Does she still twitch her nose and sniff all the time?”

  “Yes,” Emma said with a giggle. “Sometimes we call her Mrs. Bunny,” she added in a whisper.

  “That’s very clever,” I encouraged with a smile.

  “Can you just tell us whats wrong?” Julie said impatiently. “I need to get her home.”

  I looked back up at her. I expected to see her irritated with me, even extremely anger. She wasn’t either. All my SEAL training kicked in as I looked her over. Her body movements and posture spoke of nervousness and fear. Why was she so afraid to have me
look over Emma?

  The only possible answer I could find was that she didn’t trust me. Maybe she feared me not doing a good enough job. I didn’t blame her for not trusting me, but I was a little hurt that she didn’t believe in my abilities.

  “I think its just a bad cold,” I said to ease her worry. “I am going to do a strep swab and flu swab just to be on the safe side, but there really isn’t anything to worry about.”

  “Swab?” Emma asked inquisitively.

  “Yep,” I said back to her. “Just a little cotton ball in your throat and nose. It won't hurt. Might tickle a little. It will rule out any bad germs.”

  I wheeled over to the small desk with computer to type in my prognoses and collect the items needed.

  “So do you still swim?” I asked as I typed away.

  “No,” she said solely.

  Julie and I had met in college at the pool. She was on the swim team, and I was with the water polo team. We saw each other often enough between both of our practices, my games, and her meets.

  I had fallen for her from the moment I saw her. I smiled at the memory of our first encounter. It took me a while to convince her to go on a date with me. We had the perfect relationship in my books. It was just at the wrong time.

  I had to leave before I was tied down to this small town. I guess, in the end, it didn’t really matter for me. I was still tied to this small town, and all that I was free of was Julie. It was the one thing I would have rather not been free of.

  I took my two swabs and quickly as possible. Julie's nervousness was setting off my own nerves. The last thing I needed was to lose my head in the middle of an exam.

  “I’ll be back in a few minutes with the results,” I said more to Emma then Julie as I took the two swabs and headed out.

  I walked out and over to the small lab where we did our basic tests. It wouldn’t take more than five minutes to get the results. I didn't think Julie's little girl had any severe conditions like strep or the flu, but it would be worth it just to cancel out those two options.